


Nine Lives

by gnashing_teeth



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Phantom - Susan Kay
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Angst and Feels, Daemons, Erik is not nice to himself, F/M, His Dark Materials AU, Modern AU, Other, but what else is new, gender neutral reader, i guess, i spent too much time on this, i'm pretty sure i wrote this ambiguously enough to merit that tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24605119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnashing_teeth/pseuds/gnashing_teeth
Summary: You recall the first time Erik allowed you to see his face, it was an attempt to scare you away, but you're not frightened so easily.
Relationships: Erik & You, Erik | Phantom of the Opera/Reader, Erik/Reader, Erik/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Nine Lives

**Author's Note:**

> I spent waaayy too much time on this!!!! It was supposed to be a little drabble idea because I was reading Phantom and I wondered about how Ayesha would be Erik's daemon, but then it evolved into.... well, whatever this is! I kind of gave up halfway into... all of it, so I know it's far from perfect, but I still felt it had merit in posting since it was completed work.

Between a white lion’s paws she laid, curled and purring contentedly. In that same instant the man you had grown to adore so easily laid his head in your lap. Your fingers traced the outlines of his tight, thin skin, where surgery scars marred the landscape of his face, following the faded red lines along his cheekbones and then jumping the path over to the blue of his veins that were easily visible through the translucent flesh. 

He would still wear the mask, you realized that was something he had gone too long doing. No matter how ordinary he wanted to feel, how ordinary you made him feel, there was no going without it at this point. This was an instant he had chosen to omit his false face, wild and unruly like an unbroken horse he would explode in bouts of what appeared to be random fits of rage when he had removed it. You knew better though, these were games he was creating, tests meant for you to take, to step closer and closer to what he guarded more preciously than his heart.

Ayesha. 

She was a wry and graceful siamese cat. At a glance, she appeared to be anyone’s daemon, a cat being so common, but she held a secret that startled even you the first time Erik trusted you enough to show her shift before your very eyes. It was almost unheard of for a daemon to be able to still shape-shift despite Erik being well beyond the age of adolescence.

In truth, it made perfect sense once you knew what kind of a man he was. The games he played, the tricks he pulled, and his insatiable hunger for everything not known to man. It only made sense that a man who never rested and never stopped seeking to fill himself with knowledge would have a daemon that would never settle. She suited his nefarious ploys, he held unusual relationships among different peoples for business reasons and her ability to shift gave him the upper hand in proving the lies he sold them. 

None of it mattered anyhow, most were too busy considering his face. Behind a mask he hid the deformity he did not want to share with the world, already having a fill of lifetimes of humiliation early on in his years.

You would never forget the first time you laid eyes on his bare face. Though he was older than you, childish tendencies still lingered as he had ripped the mask off in an attempt to frighten you away. He did not understand that the games he cultivated for others to steer clear of his way did not work on you. You couldn’t blame him for that fact either, his perception of himself warped so early in his years that he mistook the indifference people showed to his deformity for restrained tolerance. That they would indulge in his games and take complete pity on him, which he loathed all the same. 

Tears had already begun falling down his face when he revealed himself, as you traced your finger down his face now, you remembered the way your eyes followed the same lines back then. Deep shadows set below his cheekbones and his lips bore scars of when they were once stitched to hell in corrective surgery. His skin taut over the bones, but you knew now they were soft to the touch. You remembered the image of his face becoming blurry in your own tears as he turned away angrily, indignant and quiet sobs beginning to shake his thin frame. 

Kane’s confusion at the time had opposed your own growing clarity as you set aside his emotions and picked up your own. The man who appeared to you as a tower, carved in detail and full of hidden passageways, was now crumbling before you. How many times had he chosen to break his own heart? To deny himself that which he so obviously sought out most. A desire that he convinced himself would always elude him. Brave and defiant to his beliefs, you began towards the tall, trembling figure.

At your step, Erik was stuck in unmoving shock as if he had not expected you to approach him. The action left you feeling sick, he laid himself bare right in front of you, even if it was meant to be a trick, the tears so obvious in his eyes drew you closer to him until you could reach out and grasp his shoulder. He flinched, every muscle appearing tight with apprehension of what you could possibly do to him at this point. Priding and goading himself with endless knowledge and his expectations of the human race had never prepared him for such an innocuous touch. 

“Look at me.” 

The words were shrouded in a security you had not known you possessed and in turn sounded almost foreign tumbling from your mouth. It was the only command Erik easily obeyed, the intense burning stare you were familiar with smothered in fresh tears. Your fingers followed down the seam of his dress shirt, your eyes accompanied them watching as you grabbed hold of his cold, boney hand. The clash between your own flushed skin against his pale white left you in fascination. 

His breaths were short and sporadic, ghosting over your features in silent pleas to be released from your spell. The prayer of liberation was a quiet shout when you met his eyes again, he scrutinized you, mind running rampant with the thousands of possibilities of what you could say to him; of what you wanted with him now. 

“I love you.”

The tower; with all its elaborate rooms, its hidden secrets, collapsed. 

The memory of it still stung tears in your eyes, your own heart sinking as you remembered Erik crumbled to the floor in a mess of wracking sobs, clutching your leg as if it were the only thing tethering him to this world now. Ayesha immediately ran to her master’s side, settling herself beneath the arch of his body and crying to comfort him. You wobbled, feeling Kane press his large head against your hip as Erik still clung fiercely to you. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” you state simply, throat threatening to tighten with more tears.

“No!” 

The words forced themselves from their owner’s mouth, shredding some unknown spirit in him when it escaped. His fingers viciously clawed harder at your flesh and you winced pulling back, feeling Kane inch forward, growling a warning.

“ _Why?_ ” the honey coated vocal cords you knew now reeled in pure anguish, “Why? Why? Why?” 

He began it in repetition, to another rhythm unknown to you, but it soon trailed off and muddled back in with his weeping. You knelt down to rub soothing circles into his shoulders still shaking with remorse, but Ayesha was quick, working on instinct beaten into her she swiped at your arm.

“Enough!” she hissed, “Can’t you see you’ve done enough?!” 

You recalled having never seen a more hateful look in a daemon, never so much scorn in such a small and lithe body. Ready to kill you in an instant if she could and at that moment you were convinced she would find a way to. Kane beside you rumbled in aggression ready to strike the little creature for daring to speak to you in such a manner.

“Ayesha….” Erik blubbered.

She turned to him automatically, rubbing herself against his legs that were buckled to the floor and disappeared behind his back, only for you to reveal her again when you decided to help Erik to his feet. Pulling him to the sofa you sat down, your hand still linked with his and you beckoned him to lay his head onto your lap with a pat. You were unsure if it was his instinct or just exhaustion, but his free hand clasped against his face, covering one eye that you were positive was just as ruddy and red as the one visible to you. 

He laid his head on you and wept, you remembered how it felt like an eternity in his own purgatory of emotions. An ocean of sorrows, of actions he never spoke of and most likely never would, flood through his body until he was empty. Until he finally tired himself and stared blankly at all the books and trinkets he collected on the bookshelf across from you both. Ayesha had finally laid herself against her master, she was more guard dog than cat, so ready and eager to strike you as she had wished earlier. Because of that, Kane sat on your other side, the tip of his tail whipping wildly back and forth, ready to swipe back if Ayesha so much as dared to move an inch towards you. 

Erik finally stirred, it was a silent sigh that shook the small cat’s form, it sounded defeated, if only you could know what he was going to do next, a small smile graced your lips at the recollection. On this day, he had finally given up the game he tried to play with you.

“Ayesha.…” 

He released another breath, as the cat eagerly rose in the same instance he lifted his slender arm to reach and pet her. Erik continued, despite the awkward positioning of his laying and the bend of his limb, it seemed an important task and you agreed it was, comforting and stroking a daemon was an excellent way to bond and calm them along with yourself. You relished the moment and watched how careful Erik was with her, graceful finger tips massaging deep into the silky white fur. The same sensation danced against your own hands as you turned to caress Kane’s brilliant ivory mane.

It was a single raised hand, the long fingers beckoned you though they did not move. It was his own silent command and you obeyed touching the cold skin. Your eyes shot down to his, but he was utterly focused on your hand, bending and grabbing your wrist and leading it straight to his daemon. The thrumming of your pulse was deafening and he stopped for a moment feeling the way each muscle in your arm tensed. Peeking again down at him you saw a quick calculation in his gaze before he again moved your hand toward Ayesha. 

For every bit of confidence Erik had in his actions, Ayesha had in her uncertainty of her master’s approach. She was rigid and uneasy, brown ears pinned back and tail lashing back and forth ferociously. Senseless fear began to fill you, she was clearly unwilling despite Erik’s wants and determination. The implication of touching a daemon that did not want to be touched made bile burn at the back of your throat and you closed your eyes in panic.

“Enough.” 

It held the musical tone you had become so accustomed to. The sureness of the man you knew before he crumbled before you. 

You opened your eyes to a different creature, though she was still weary she looked at you expectantly as Erik released his chilling grip on your wrist. Sucking in a breath for courage you relaxed as the air left your lungs and with visible calm you reached to stroke her. Erik gasped as a hand latched itself to the front of his chest. He buried his face into your leg, breathing hitched as he seemed to lose a control he did not know he could misplace. His response confused you, but despite it you still caressed the cat as she began to purr in delight. Her fur was as soft as it looked and immediately any ill will she had ever pinned to you melted with every stroke of your hand. She leapt from her master’s body onto your other leg for your ease. 

Kane gave a lick to the cat, making her seem impossibly small in front of your large lion’s head. Erik whimpered at the action, shooting his sights on your daemon as he reached to caress Kane’s muzzle. 

It manifested why he would have such a reaction when you touched Ayesha. And now all the rules of your society finally made sense. The manor in which Erik combed his fingers up Kane’s snout and entangled them in his mane elicited nothing but pure ecstasy from you. Lunging forward you cradled Erik’s head between your arms, overwhelmed by the sensation of his hands in your daemon’s fur. Ayesha rubbed herself affectionately against you both, turning and circling back multiple times to copy the action.

You were sure of it then, you knew you loved him. You knew of his suspicious nature, the criminal things he involved himself in, but were never sure if you could die for him. What sacrifices you would make for him. It was plain now, the lengths of which you would go for him, for your prince of conjurers, was boundless. As infinite as his genius and as impossible as the cosmos. 

Your fingers threaded themselves in his hair now, after following his veins. The last mystery of your love you had only recently discovered. Thoughts of how your daemons should be the opposite always occupied your mind. Ayesha retained her form as a cat most often, but she could also transform to a sparrow, a scorpion, and a Spaniel. She was shy, only fierce when need be, when she needed to protect her love; her Erik. He was formidable, proud, with an untamable temper. It seemed he should have had the lion as his daemon, but it struck you. A sensitivity he had, something you knew he would be too proud to admit, that you had power over him. That the way your daemon cradled his right now, between two massive paws, was a surrender. How easily Kane could crush Ayesha into Dust, how simple it would be for _you_ to shred his heart into pieces. A vulnerability that was so plain to see, yet eluded you for months until now. 

You knelt down, kissing his recessed temple, tracing your lips down to the sharp angle of his cheekbone. He whipped around and like a child buried his face in your belly, you felt your heartbeat pulse from the pressure of his grasp. Massaging your fingers on his scalp, you watched as your lion began grooming his kitten; his Ayesha.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, yeah, hope you enjoyed! I never finished season one of HDM (though I reallyyy need to) so I'm sorry if the daemon stuff wasn't exactly accurate! I am really fascinated with the HDM world and I do like doing AUs with some characters I'm fond of so you might see that from time to time on here (though they're likely to be pretty short like this one).
> 
> I edited this to the best of my ability and patience (I really was getting bored of doing this and wanted to move on to a different WIP smh).


End file.
